green

That's me, green with envy. Because I don't get to go on the Vox world tour and visit Paris, and the other cities on the itinerary.

I can't blame anyone though, I did not enter the contest after all. And the winners do deserve to go.

But I'm still green. :)

Anyhoo, it's 3:00 in the morning on a Sunday, and sleep eludes me. Perhaps it's because I took a nap early this evening and woke up at a really late hour. I admit, I woke up because I wanted to make sure boyf came back. He was here this afternoon because we took Zune to the vet. Then he left to join former officemates in a drinking session. He promised he'd come back though and spend the night here. So he's upstairs on my bed, snoring the roof off our house! :)

Now, I'm not sleepy at all. This after watching a movie that I've seen several times. And after playing Feeding Frenzy. And reading through blogs while thinking about all the travelling I plan to take, when the time comes.

How long does living take a backseat to livelihood? How much time do we have to spend trying to make money that we can spend?

I got to thinking about how I thought I would live, and how I am living now. I always knew in my heart I would be helping people. Now I'm a trainer for a tech support account. Yes, I am still helping people. I refuse to accept that the help I do is not meaningful because it is. No, it's not that I'm helping the customers, but I'm helping the agents become successful in the careers they chose. I've been feeling quite proud because some of those who've been my trainees have already been promoted to supervisory posts, one might even replace me when I leave in two weeks. Neat.

Still, I am looking for something else. Looking for an outlet for a lifelong passion that I've kept at bay for the past two years: child rights' work. There's just nothing there that would fit the lifestyle I have now. Or maybe it's because I don't like going into anything without being fully devoted to the task. So I can't volunteer piecemeal. I can't be working full time at my current career, and just sometimes volunteer. But I also don't want to give up on being a trainer in a call center. And it isn't about the salary. I love what I do. I enjoy it. That's also why I will be moving to a new company, to continue doing and having what I loved about the job. I will leave my current post so I won't turn away from the job completely.

Oh well, I've always had to focus on one passion at a time. Because I pour my heart into what I do.