A Love Story
The Boyfriend and I went to see this movie on Sunday. I have not been to see any local movies lately, and I must say, this was a great choice to encourage support for local cinema.
We were gripped by the mystique; the people behind A Love Story are great storytellers. It made us think one thing at the beginning, and then constantly rethink throughout the duration of the piece.
It evoked many emotions, many thoughts in me. I was sitting there next to boyf, taking in these three great sexy actors, listening to their diaologue, guessing their next actions. At the same time, I was thinking about me and the love that I am capable of.
I've been in the same relationship for the past 7 and a half years. Of course, we're thinking and probably convincing ourselves that this is it for both of us. When I watch great love stories, or read about them in novels, I sometimes think whether it really is so.
Can we make great sacrifices for each other? Can I? Is my love so great that I can endure the pain of letting go for the sake of what's right and what would be good for my partner?
I was conflicted at the end of the movie. Part of me wanted Ian and the mistress to end up together. For me, their love was greatest of the two. Perhaps it was made so because of the woman's deep love for the man, or because they did each other good. I can't believe it either, why would I side with an other woman?
It's just that I felt like the guy did not have that kind of love left for his wife anymore. There didn't seem to be much reason to stay married to her. In fact, he only stayed because the mistress turned him away, and because he learned that he was going to be a father.
And maybe Ian did find the love he once had for the mother of his child. Perhaps in the end, they really were a happy family. Or, maybe they were just friends, parents of the same child, having fun and spending his birthday in their private paradise.
Or maybe I didn't understand marriage. And maybe I somehow do now.
Falling out of love probably isn't enough of a reason to end a marriage. Because there are so many things that go into a marriage, so many factors to consider. I guess it's a tie that binds two people together, a vow to stick together no matter what. And I guess both people involved owe it to the marriage to give it one last try. Maybe that's what Ian and his wife did, and they succeeded. Maybe they found happiness and peace again.
I don't know, maybe that's what all potential mistresses should do: stay away. The husbands can't be trusted to walk away, eventhough they're the ones who have committments, so the woman has to be stronger and drive the philanderer away. But, what if, like in this story, the other woman is the one?
It's a very difficult situation really. For the wife, it won't be easy to forget. To look at the other and have full confidence that he won't stray, that he won't be looking at any other. And yet, you must do it. Because taking him back also means accepting that part of the past and trusting that it will not happen again. I know, I've been there. I forgave, I accepted.
But I didn't totally forget. I rationalize it by telling myself that forgetting would be tantamount to letting it happen again. But doesn't that mean that I have some wall built around me?
Take the mistress' ex husband. He fooled around, and they split up. It so happened that the woman he fooled around with, was the perfect partner for him. He truly loved her. She asked him, years later, if it would have been right for her to have fought to keep him. He said, he probably would have stayed, but he would not have changed. He would just have looked for another. And I think it's true because contrary to what they would have you believe: men are capable of monogamy. They can stick to one.
I think these thoughts because... I probably doubt what I have and who I have it with. But that's another love story.
